Smiles, Shopping Carts, and Fedoras

So there I was, on my run yesterday, smiling as I always do at the people who pass by me going in the opposite direction on the trail, when I realized that the majority of people that day would not return my smile. This is far from unusual, as most people who pass me actually make a concerted effort to avoid eye contact at all costs, even if it involves turning their head in a manner I’ve only seen in The Exorcist movie. Granted, my bright red flushed face, heavy breathing, bouncing cantaloupes, and the terrifying sound of my thighs rubbing together in a feeble attempt to create fire are probably pretty frightening, but I digress……..

I finally started counting people after my first mile. I did a total of three miles, and it was peak running time at the park. I counted 60 people. Guess how many of them smiled back at me or even acknowledged my existence? 13. And here’s another fact: I counted ALL the people who smiled at me; not just the ones who did so after my first mile. Okay, yeah, I get that some of the people are focused machines, hell bent on setting a PR or perhaps simply lost in their thoughts, but we all know that isn’t the case for everyone. Some people actually make eye contact with me, see me smile, and still either look away or simply don’t return the smile with even a slight nod. Those people are my favorite. Usually when that happens I laugh out loud right after I pass them. I have my music on loud enough in my earphones that I can’t even hear myself laugh, but it makes me feel better, and I like to think that the person who didn’t smile thinks that I just escaped from the loony bin. The thing is, I don’t want to be that miserable when I’m exercising. I mean, honestly, my body is already that miserable during exercise, so I do my best to make myself smile or think happy thoughts so I can take my mind off the fact that small parts of me are dying. But this brings me to something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately; the lack of kindness and common decency in today’s world, and the overabundance of political correctness.

I’m not talking about anything special, or of going over the top above and beyond for others. I’m talking about simple things like returning a smile, holding a door open for the person behind you instead of rushing through it, holding the elevator, offering to help someone carry something if they look like they’re struggling, letting another car in your lane when you’re in a hurry, or any number of small gestures that just might brighten someone’s day. Honestly, it’s about getting out of your own head and paying attention to the world around you. I am often surprised when people are surprised at an act of kindness. For example, on Easter Sunday, on the way back from my Dad’s house in southwest Texas, I had to go through a Border Patrol checkpoint. After the agent asked me if I was an American citizen and I resisted the urge to respond with “Since birth!” I wished him a Happy Easter. He lost his stern look for a moment, smiled, and said, “Happy Easter!” Another example are the loose shopping carts in the parking lot of the Walmart Neighborhood Market near my house. When I see a loose one on my way in, I will either put it into one of the corrals or bring it back inside. Okay, I admit that one of the reasons I put the carts back where they belong is because of the part of me that has an obsessive need for order and symmetry, but another reason is that I don’t want a cart to hit my truck or someone else’s vehicle. There is an older man whose job it is to gather those loose carts, and one day he saw me pick one up on my way in only to put it back into the line of carts inside the front door (I’m sure he thought I was going to use it, but I don’t need a cart to carry three bags of Reduced Fat Ruffles to the self-checkout). He had a look of surprise on his face as he told me thank you, and then he smiled. The irony is that today I passed him on my way in, no cart in hand, and he didn’t even bother to make eye contact with me. ~ sigh ~

I often think that the world was a kinder place in the 50’s when men wore hats and people weren’t so politically correct (this is mainly because I just watched “Bridge of Spies,” which is set in the 50’s). Yes, I know there were a lot of other problems, including sexism, racism (both of which still exist today…..just saying), and nationwide paranoia due to the Cold War, but men walking around in suits and hats just makes it seem like the world was so much more dignified back then. People greeting each other pleasantly, shaking hands like they mean it, and, yes, holding doors open for others. I realize that that world wasn’t so great for everyone, so I’m not saying we should go back to it, but I do think men should start wearing hats again, and not trucker hats or that weird giant hat Pharrell wears. I’m talking about a fedora like Indiana Jones wears (one of my first loves). Granted, we won’t know until the man takes the hat off whether or not they’re bald, but then again, we don’t know until they take their pants off whether or not they’re hu…..you get the picture. And so ends my argument for men in hats, not to be confused with the group Men Without Hats and their classic hit, “The Safety Dance.” Safety first. What was I talking about?

Speaking of politically correct (at least I think I was at some point), this is the first year I noticed that people were saying “Happy Resurrection Day” instead of “Happy Easter.” I suppose that’s because Easter has its beginnings in pagan traditions, and some Christians want to emphasize that the celebration is for Jesus, not for a fertile, frisky rabbit who lays eggs willy nilly all over the place. But if a person is offended by someone wishing them a Happy Easter (I’m tired of typing the quotation marks), then maybe I should be offended in February when someone tells me Happy Valentine’s Day, since I don’t have a Valentine. I mean, HOW DARE YOU???? And for that matter, maybe 7/8’s of me should be offended on St. Patrick’s Day (the other 1/8th will just go drink the shit out of some Guinness). Hell, I’m offended that we don’t have a day to celebrate the single people! I believe that on that day, people in a committed relationship should buy lots of presents for the single folk, and celebrate the fact that we just might be happy on our own. Where in the hell was I going with this post??? Oh, that’s right……..

It only takes a couple seconds to think about someone other than yourself. Like I said earlier, get out of your head and look around. Pay attention. Slow down. Breathe. Blink. Smile, even if no one is there to see it. Say “Good morning” (it helps if it actually is the morning when you say this, and if someone is there to receive your greeting). Reach out. Make eye contact. Offer a helping hand. You never know what others are going through; how crappy their day is, or even if maybe today was the day they decided to end it all, but that one random act of kindness made them change their mind, and restored some of their faith in humanity. It really is that simple. Oh, and Happy Single’s Day.